Watch: Pfizer director makes ludicrous claim about why company is mutating viruses, gets 'directed evolution' trending

Also Adam Schiff, a Demonic RBG, Kindergarten Teachers, and More!

Hello Internet. It’s Day 26 of Dry January. I wonder if bourbon misses me too.

Your song of the day is “What You Deserve” by Koe Ketzel.

Glad we had this talk,

- Brodigan

><><><><><><

Our daily contributions to the discourse…

Britney Spears fans call cops to do a welfare check when she deleted her Instagram and the singer is pissed.

Adam Schiff is so distraught getting kicked off of the House Intel committee that he joins TikTok, owned by...you know.

An NYC courthouse erects demonic-looking statute they claim is meant to pay homage to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Bill Gates goes all in on communist China and claims the country's rise is a 'huge win for the globe'.

A kindergarten teacher brags about confusing five-year-olds about their gender.

And this guy blasts gym-shamer who thinks she's all that and makes fun of a dude who dares speak to her.

><><><><><><

Watch: Pfizer director makes ludicrous claim about why company is mutating viruses, gets 'directed evolution' trending

What you are about to hear is a claim made by a Pfizer director that sounds insane. Almost as insane as being told to "imagine the compliance" of a pill with a tiny chip that sends a wireless signal to relevant authorities when the pharmaceutical has been digested. That claim was made by Pfizer's CEO, and there is video of that too. This claim of what critics are calling "directed evolution" was made by Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer Director of Research and Development.

Mutating schmovid means MORE schmovid schmaccines! Apropos of nothing, Pfizer, Joe Biden's favorite pharmaceutical company, made over $101 billion in 2022.

Don’t tell anyone. Promise you won’t tell anyone.

My man actually said that.

One of the things we're exploring is like, why don't we just mutate it ourselves so we could create -- preemptively develop new vaccines, right? So, we have to do that. If we're gonna do that though, there's a risk of like, as you could imagine -- no one wants to be having a pharma company mutating f*cking viruses.

Yes, correct. No one wants to be having a pharma company that does such a thing.

Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer's Director of Research and Development, claimed without evidence the way it works is that they put the virus in monkeys, cause them to keep infecting each other, and collect serial samples from them. If that sounds somewhat familiar to you, it sounds familiar to Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer's Director of Research and Development, as well.

If news got out about this, people would start spreading related misinformation all throughout social media. THANKFULLY our Big Tech companies are hard at work.

This undercover video was released by citizen journalists Project Veritas. Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer's Director of Research and Development, appeared to think he was on a date. Like most guys who are on a date, Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer's Director of Research and Development, claims could have been less truthy as much as him spitting game at his date hoping to get laid. Guys say all sorts of crazy sh*t on dates trying to get a piece. I once told a girl I could get her to meet Gerald Morgan Jr.

IF this is true, I foresee any combination of three things. Pfizer denying it. Critics of directed evolution will be told they are too dumb to understand the science. And Jordon Trishton Walker, Pfizer's Director of Research and Development, will find that he's no longer Pfizer's Director of Research and Development.